If you believe that friendships never end, you’re wrong. This doesn’t mean this friendship you’re in right now has to stop though. In this article, I’ll try to help you make a decision.
Are you in the position where you’re wondering if you should cut someone off or not? I know how you feel. You may have been friends for years, but things have changed. You’re doing different things now and hanging out with them feels different now.
I’ve been there a couple times and had to cut off some people. This is not easy to do, but sometimes you have to for your own good. Before you do this, you have to think it through.
I currently have a friend who is not as driven as me to accomplish important goals in life. And for this phase in my life, it might be better to spend less and less time with him. I’m doing this by saying I have other more important things to do. It may be a bit harsh to intentionally let a friendship die out, but sometimes you have to…
Okay, now we’re getting to what you came for. If more than one sign below is resonating with you in your friendship, then it’s time to end it.
Sign #1: You Have Nothing To Talk About
Have you ever met someone and then tried starting a conversation but it didn’t work out? The other replied different then you expected, and you don’t know how to respond to that. Now, of course, that can happen sometimes, but if you have this feeling all the time with someone you didn’t have before, then it’s not a good sign.
People change, it’s inevitable. It isn’t necessarily bad but if you change your interests and values might shift. And when you don’t share any interests or values, it’s tough to have a meaningful conversation.
For example, in my life, I used to smoke a lot of weed. Then I would go outside and hang out in places where other people smoked marijuana. But as soon as I quit smoking marijuana, I didn’t see those people anymore. In the beginning, it was hard for me to realize that all those friendships were purely based on smoking weed together. Now, I don’t see any of those friends anymore, and I’m glad to.
Sign #2: Everything Has To Come From You
If you’re the one who continually needs to reach out if you guys want to meet up, then you’re probably not on their mind. Now, some people might have problems with keeping up or just don’t have time. But if you think it should be different, then it’s probably not the friendship you’re looking for.
Also, I think it’s BS when someone says they don’t have enough time or they aren’t good at keeping up with friends. If you really care about someone you would take the effort of reaching out.
So if this happens to you, just don’t take the effort of reaching out anymore.
Sign #3: They Are Not There For You When You Need Them
My dad was the kind of dad that would scream my name on the soccer field when I was playing. Back then I was embarrassed, but now I can see it was a good thing. It was one of the ways of him to show his love for me.
The most important people should be in the most important pieces of your life. At your wedding, at a family member’s funeral or at a birthday party. It’s fun when everyone you care about is at the same big event where you would like to see them.
If your friend is not coming to your birthday party, or any other significant event in your life, any more then it’s probably time to end the friendship. If your friend is not there when you need him/her, there’s no point in keeping the friendship going. Unless you don’t expect them to be there for you.
Sign #4: You Argue A Lot With Each Other
This is one of the most important signs as this is a determining factor. It’s not uncommon to have different opinions as long as you can still talk about it. But when you argue over these opinions and get upset because of it, it could be a sign of losing respect for each other.
If you argue every time you guys hang out or there’s an awkward tension between you then it’s probably a sign. A sign that the friendship is coming to an end.
Sign #5: Invites Are Formal Or Non-Existent
Are you invited to their birthday party via a Facebook request for an event? Or not invited at all?
This happened to me a lot when I thought I was friends with someone who didn’t even take the effort to invite me. When someone doesn’t ask me, I’m not coming. If someone does this to me, then I immediately know what to expect from the other and what not to. So, I don’t take the effort anymore in investing my time in someone who does this.
So, if this happens to you and the other is not personally inviting you, then it’s probably a sign that they might not be the kind of friend you thought they were.
Sign #6: They Are Not Taking Your Time Seriously
“The greatest gift you can give someone is your time. Because when you dedicate your time, you are offering a part of your life you will never get back.”
Be mindful of the time you spent, you will never get it back. This is very important, your time is your most valuable asset.
In my life, I had many events where a friend of mine asked me to hang out. Before I decided I was taking responsibility for my life, I would have said ‘yes’. But now I always ask, “Why? What are we going to do?” Now, don’t get me wrong, sometimes there’s room for spontaneity or just being with someone. That shouldn’t be most of the time though.
If I’m going to invest my time in you, I want to know where it will be going. If it’s just because you’re bored, of course, I will not hang out with you.
So, if you have a friend who only asks you to hang out because he/she is bored. Or asking you to spend time on things that don’t really matter to you (while he/she knows). Then it’s a sign they’re not taking your time seriously.
I recommend you first open up to them, tell them what your priorities are and what you’re working on. Maybe they will understand you. If not, then it’s probably a good time to end the friendship.
Sign #7: You are not happy with the friendship
“There are three solutions for every problem; change it, accept it or leave it. When you can’t change it, accept it. When you can’t accept it, leave it.”
If you read it this far and have taken the effort to search for an article on this subject, it means you’re probably not happy with your friendship.
If you haven’t tried changing or accepting the friendship as it is, first do that.
Now, when you tried those things, but it didn’t work out, there’s only one thing left to do. Leave the friendship, let it go.
One last thing, I think this video is something you should see. Check out this Ted Talk, based on research of the importance of relationships for our happiness.
Friendships can be complicated, but they can also be the most beautiful thing in the world. Eventually, relationships are one of the components of your happiness. So be careful with whom you spend your time with and be careful with your relationships.
Know that all relationships have ups and downs. If the ups are worth the downs, then you’re good. Also, some people might be in your life for the phase you are in or were in. Then there’s also a difference in what kind of friendship you want. Take all these variables into account before ending a relationship abruptly.
“People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.”
Did any of the signs resonate with you? Did this article help you with making a decision?
Hope I could help!
I’m Marnix, and I’m a blogger, freelance content writer/marketer, and online entrepreneur.
On this blog, I help people become the best versions of themselves by finding their true selves through self-development. Sharing my knowledge, I learn(ed) in my personal life journey.
As a freelance content writer/marketer I help business/blogs spread their message through content that gets seen so many more people can benefit from it. If you’re interested in working with me, go to www.marnixbuijs.com